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How to Overcome The Fear of Rejection |
by:
Rick Valens |
Feeling uncomfortable instomach, cold sweaty palm, trembling of legs, losingability to think correctly when approachinggirl? Hate yourself for not able to overcome this problem? Oh, please do not feel so. Believe me, you are notonly one facing this problem. In fact, this isvery common problem in man. Everyone is just like you, not willing to admit it openly, havingfear of being laughed and mocked by others. But there is absolutely nothing wrong for feeling so.
Well approachinggirl, asking her out fordate isn’t really as scary as you thought. For all you may know,girl is just as or even more nervous than you. Some guys are born withnatural flair with girls while some guys are just born shy. But that doesn’t mean that they can’t do as good. In fact, shy men are who most girls are looking for. It is reallypity that allgood men are hiding up leavinggirls with not much ofchoice but to hang out withjerks.
So how can you overcome your fear? Well, this is something that I can’t help you. You simply just got to make that first step, that very first attempt. Still feeling too nervous? Ok, perhaps we should take thingslittle slower. There is actually no urgent need for you to just walk up togirl and ask her out fordate. Too sudden? You might just scare her off. But please, don’t take for ages before someone else try to cut inqueue. I don’t suppose you memorized your whole school textbook before going for your exams? It’ssame thing, you don’t need to wait till you fully overcome your fear before you approachgirl.
Well anyway, I should believe thatboth of you are at least like normal friends? Classmates? Colleagues or? Whatever it is, grab any chance to get closer to her. Too shy to strikeconversation with her? Look her ineyes, drop hernice warm smile. Make her notice you, make her remember you, let her know that you exist! You be surprised, your eyes can actually work more wonders than to words at times. All these will eventually boostchance of success when approaching her atlater date. She will naturally feel more comfortable with you than to be approached bytotal stranger.
Ok, now that you have done all of what you can do, no more excuses from you! Stop hiding up, it’s time to make your move. Now, I want you to follow very closely after me. Takedeep breathe, gather all your courage. She is sitting all alone onbench undertree. Slowly and steady, you walk towards her. Yes, step by step getting nearer and nearer. She turns and saw you approaching. Remember, she has seen you before, she knows who you are. Now look her ineyes, smile at her. She greets you with her nice gentle smile. One final step, you stop in front of her. “Hi, whatcoincides to see you here”, you say to her innice, friendly voice. “Busy with anything now? How aboutlittle coffee together?” Smiling so sweetly at you she replies teasingly, “Your treat? Sure why not?”
Hey you still with me? Ha sorry, was just trying to playlittle game of hypnosis with you. Did I fare horribly? Well anyway, it would really be so lovely if things were as what I had described? Why not? Why couldn’t it be possible? You see,problem with most people is that they always tend to create negative thoughts; creatingimage of failure,image of been rejected in their mind before things actually happen. Subconsciously, they have actually rejected themselves before anyone else could even reject them and yes,likely chances is they will fail. Just like in soccer matches, when David Beckham scores from his spectacular free kick? If atmoment before he even lifts his feet, he was creatingimage of ballooning awayball overgoal post in his mind, you think he will score? So why not picture thingsother way round, telling your mind; yourself that you are going to make it? It will definitely boosts your confidence andchance ofsuccess.
Hope you are feeling more comfortable and less nervous now? But well,chance of being rejected is nonetheless always still there. So what should happen if you really fail? You should learn to graciously acceptrejection. It is perfectly alright, my friend. At least you know you have tried? You finally pluck out that courage? There is nothing to feel ashamed of. Picture it this way; you areone being approached instead. Approached bygirl that is not of your type. You would have rejected her as well, wouldn’t you? But would you make fun of her, laugh and mock at her? I should believe not? Instead, you would have felt happy and thankful to her; it is justpity that she is not your type of girl? That is exactly howgirl whom rejected you would have felt too; it is justpity that you are not her type of guy. Nobody would be laughing at you, probably they would be admiring you for your courage instead.
Though you might be rejected but believe me, once there isfirst timerest will just come naturally. You might be sad and disappointed but once you get yourself back, you would have remembered that it wasn’t as scary what you had thought. You would have probably already overcomegreat deal of your fear. It is just likefirst time driving out on your own after getting your license. For some unlucky ones, meeting up withlittle accident. But that doesn’t stop them from driving on? In fact, experiences were gained. So was confidence alongway, driving more smoothly, stepping even harder onaccelerator?
Well, rejection is part and parcel of life. It is not only in love that you get rejected. In life, you are faced with more rejections. Rejections from your work? Your boss? Your business associates? Even your own family? But that won’t stop you from moving on in life?
Last but not least, there is one thing you have to accept. The fact that, you areman! It is afterall stillguy’s job to doasking. You just gotta do it and I am sure you can do it yeah?
Rick Valens
Staff Writer for http://www.loveletterbox.com ,
Love Relationship Discussion Forum
Currently also freelance writer for http://www.ecemetery.org,
Monument of Eternal Memory
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