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Being Dumped, just plain sucks! |
by:
Dorothy Lafrinere |
Today I receivedquestion fromguy. Here is what he said:
"Posted by Anonymous
The last woman I was involved with was quite full of herself.
So then why did she dump me?"
And my answer to him was this... "Posted by Dorothy
Hey there, sorry to hear about your being dumped. Not knowing either of you, it is really hard to answer that question. There are many reasons for people walking away fromrelationship. It could have plain worn out. Also they could have found someone else. Either way, it sucks, and you have to deal withpain, and learn to get on with your life. It ischallenge, but it does make you aware, of what being human is all about. There issaying; "If it doesn`t kill you. it will only make you stronger." Also I amfirm believer in: " Things do happen forreason." Hang in there, things will get better, if you let them. Take Care and thank you for sharing that with me."
"Being Dumped" really is one ofworst experiences, short of death that we, as humans are faced with in our lives. They say that, death ofloved one is easier to learn to live with, thanbreak-up , "Being Dumped" or rejection.
All ofabove, tell us that we are unacceptable to someone. We immediatley turn it into ourselves and that's whenself-blame seed is sown. Through self-blame we begin to feel shame. Shame is so painful, that no one talks about it or even wants to think about it. Shame isleast identified emotion we as humans deal with, because we are ashamed of our shame. Shame, is yet another negative emotion, that captures and imprisons us inpit of hell. It pulls us intolife of silence and inactivity, lying and hiding our true fears. When we are rejected in any situation, it istrue hit to our self-esteem. If we are weak in that area, then our fall is going to be very hard. If we are strong in that area, we will quickly become weak. I wrote this inrecent blog:
"When we first fall in love; What is that saying, "Love is Blind"? Ha! Now that's funny, because it really is blind. We trust so instantly and genuinely that we potentially set ourselves up forbiggest fall in our lives. Why is that? Is it because we are so driven by nature to want to trust someone? Or is trusting someone justhappier, easier, way of life."
So there it is, we as humans, live to love and want to be loved. We are blinded byromance ofword ~ LOVE~. We are made happy byword~LOVE~, but we are also hurt byword ~LOVE~. So why do we continually set ourselves up? We are gambling, and we do not even know it. Or, is life simply just that,gamble? The bottom line is, no one wants to get "DUMPED", because it is not in our nature to know how to accept it. How many of you have been, "DUMPED" and just knew that your life had ended? You just knew that you will never see anythingsame again. Well, you were partly correct there. It is like any other change in our lives. Things will be different than we are use to. Your life has definitely not ended. Yes, your partnership has ended withperson, and maybe it was not expected, but nor are hurricanes or wars. We deal with it all, we have to. We chose to survive. Think of it as startingnew life. Newness is positive and healthy. Look at things differently, and embrace all that newness. Do not fear it. "BEING DUMPED", is just another chapter in your book of life. If you had no chapters, think how dull your book would be. Now, you can open your self to another chapter, and believe me, there are many. If you spendrest of your life wondering all"WHY`S", just think, you have wasted even more of your precious time on something that has chosen another road. As forfact thatperson is, full of themselves, that really has nothing to do with"Why's" of "Being Dumped". Evenmost confident people close doors on relationships. They in fact, have more courage to do so thanperson of less confidence, or being less full of themselves, so to speak. Who Knows? All we know is thatdecision has been made and you asperson, with intelligence, must turnpage. Getting stuck in that feeling just makes therapists rich. (wink) Life offers many, many humps and bumps. We trip and fall, over and over again. The trick is to get real good at picking yourself up and dusting offold dirt. This is life. I told my daughter, when she was struck by her first cupids arrow, "If you are going to get emotionally involved, be prepared to get emotionally uninvolved." It's life! One very important thing we must remember; when we are atbottom and we feel we are worthless and will never ever TRUST again, it's isnothing more thanhuman emotion. We know it as doubt. We can over come doubt very easily. Look inmirror, and tell yourself, that you are UNIQUE, and you are going to make happiness your goal. You must risk allfalls to reach that goal. Letting yourself believe that you are deserving of another relationship is trulyrisk, again another gamble. But what is life withoutlittle risk? We havepower to overcome our negative self. We just need to DO IT!
"Self doubt is notoption!
Our doubts are traitors and make us losegood we often might gain by fearing attempt."
Shakespear
Dorothy
http://www.womensselfesteem.com
http://www.justblogme.com/dorothy
email- dorothy@womensselfesteem.com
This article is free for republishing
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Dorothy Lafrinere
Owner/Operator/writer
Website- http://www.womensselfesteem.com
Weblog- http://www.justblogme.com/Dorothy
Forum- http://womenselfesteem.proboardstwonine.com
email- dorothy@womensselfesteem.com
Hello my name is Dorothy and I thought you might like to knowbit about me! I was born and raised in Canada where I raised four great children and ranbusiness for twothree years. I recently moved to Florida to continue my life and enjoytropics. My experiences throughout my life have built my character and made meindependent women. My issues regarding self-esteem have directed me towards creatingwonderful website for allwomen inworld! www.WomensSelfesteem.com My goal is to simply putsmile on your face, addlittle sunshine to your day, and help you findstrength to deal with your fears and tackle your weaknesses, but most importantly to help you findgoodness that is inside of you, so that you can livepeaceful and happy life.
I have had many questions reguarding why my website is totally free. Well, it is not actually really free. The payment that I ask for from my members and any women that frequent my site is that they feel better about themselves, and that they use some of that gained strength to help other women who also suffer from self esteem issues that women are faced with in daily life.
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